Here are a few pics from our first week in Vallejo. Here are some more recent pics and adventures!
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I was humbled this last couple of Sundays as we began our search for a church we could attend while in Vallejo. I began my search where so many others in a new area probably do, on google. The first result that came up was Community Bible Church. They had a great website, their distinctives matched up with us, and they are 5min away so I figured we'd give them a try. We would love to go to John MacArthur's church but sadly it is in LA and out of our reach.
When we get there, we are greeted like at most churches, by smiling faces and one of the elders even came and talked to us. They taught expository, which was both a surprise and what we like. The music was no showy at all and very purposeful. We were very pleased with our first choice of church to go to. After service is when I really felt God played His hand. A really nice couple with 4 kids, 3 girls and a boy, came up and introduced themselves almost like they could tell we were new and sought us out. He leads a fellowship group on Tuesdays so he invited us out for that. On Tuesday, we met some other really great couples with young kids and some older couples. We had a really heartfelt study and some great prayer time. We walked away feeling blessed that God had put us exactly where we needed to be. We had new friends who loved Jesus and my heart was full! Sunday number two came around and we sat down next to a young couple with a two month old baby girl. Addison is so interested in babies so she helped spark an introduction. They are from South Carolina and have been here for 3 years while he attends the seminary attached to the church. After service, they invited to lunch at their friends house, which we accepted. The pastor and his wife came over and introduced themselves as well. Funny side note: the pastors wife asked if we were related to the couple we just met. She asked because there is a strong Philippino culture here and two Caucasian couples sitting next to each other is a rarity. lol We had lunch with the couple and their friends, who are from Michigan. I felt like we were old friends already. Addison played with the big black lab and we all had a great time getting to know each other. They had planned to go to a pumpkin patch and invited us to come along, so we did. Well, it was either that or go home to the trailer and do nothing... kind of a no brainer! The pumpkin patch was so fun and the guys talked while us girls played with Addison in a giant corn "sandbox". Even though we have only been to this church twice, they have shown me something that is missing in a lot of ministries today. I think we have a tendency to get stuck in our ways and not want to take that extra step past the "greeting" part of church. We have all seen a new face and either given a smile or introduced ourselves but nothing more. This is a large church and for people to not only introduce themselves but invite us to be a part of their social life, both times, speaks volumes to me. I know I will try harder to seek out those in the body, both new and established, that God is putting in my path. Here are some pics from our trip to the pumpkin patch! Last Wednesday, Brian left for Vallejo California with our car pack so tight I don't think another stuffed animal could have fit anywhere in there. He followed his buddy with a fifth wheel, the one who only 6 months ago was telling Brian about how he was welding in Hawaii and Brian should check it out, had the two dogs in the front seat and off they went. It would have been a harder separation if my mom hadn't stayed with Addison and me, especially since I got a head cold and couldn't really function.
Mom took me to the airport 2 hrs early, which FYI you only need to do at big airports, Joplin is so tiny that there were no lines... ever! Brian's family came to say good bye and brought me sprite and tots from Sonic :) The first flight was great and we had an empty seat next to me that Addison liked to sit in. The small plane was mostly empty and there was a man several rows back that played peak-a-boo with Addison. At one point he was a life saver :) Addison fell asleep on our decend so her ears didn't bother her but mine felt like they were going to burst. Flying with head congestion is a really really bad deal. I waited till everyone got off the plane so I could grab my stuff with a sleeping baby and not wanting everyone to have to wait on me. I'm pretty sure this is where I left my tablet... which sucks hard core!! I had just enough time to get to my terminal in Dallas to see that my plane was just starting to load. I grabbed a burger at Wendy's that was right there and the cashier asked how old Addison was and when I was due. She then told me things were going to get hard for me... thanks lady! lol I grabbed the fried for Addison and went to board the plane... the lady at the gate hurriedly asked if I was on the flight and told me it was loading in a rough way... like I didn't notice! I'm glad I paid extra for preferred seating on this flight cause it was packed! I had the window seat and the seat in the middle had a big tray on it so there was plenty of space for Addison to lay down in my lap or fling her arms without hitting someone in the face. The lady in the isle seat was really sweet too. I think the lady sleeping right in front of me didn't appreciate Addison playing with our tray and kicking her eat tho... but I tried to keep it to a minimum :/ I finally got Addison to fall asleep about an hour before we landed, which was 9pm their time and like 11pm our time. I was so tired and frustrated when I couldn't find my way out to where Brian was picking us up, so Brian drove to where we were waiting. We got home an hour later and Brian and Addison were full of life and I was dead. Sorry I don't have any picks of our new place but its been an adjustment getting settled in... I promise there will be some shortly!! The house is mostly in boxes now, bags are packed, and theres still a lot to do. I have let satan creep in with worry that I won't get things done on schedule so much that I haven't been sleeping well and I blew up at Brian last night. I wanted to give myself an excuse and say it was the pregnancy hormones but I know it was just straight up sin. I know that God will get us through anything. He's brought us through some pretty tough times already, but knowing and acting on that knowledge are two very different things that require a lot of faith. Change has always been hard for me. I go with it pretty well but I hate that first leap. Kinda like the high dive when I was little, I hated the climb up and that step off but something kept bringing me back to do it over and over. I am excited about this change in life style though and it will be a lot better after this fist year. We will have the baby and a 5th wheel so there will be some normalsy even though we will be moving like nomads lol.I wil leave you with this passage that opened up when I turned on my tablet this morning:
Matthew 6:24-34 No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.I particularly like the first and last verse! Today we got to see the new baby and find out just how far along we actually are. We thought we were around 11weeks but because breastfeeding puts a kink in things, we were wrong. Instead of Feb 27th we are due April 9th 2014 which is a relief since we are about to start our family adventure. I am convinced it will be a boy for three reasons. 1) Both of Brian's sisters are pregnant and having boys. 2) The heart rate was 120 and with Addison is was 140. Old wives tale says girls are faster than boys. 3) The Chinese predictor app told me it was a boy. It was right for Addison and most of our friends when we were all pregnant a while back. I would post a pic but, for real, it just looks like a fluttering white dot. A whopping 3cm! lol So instead I will post a pic of my beautiful Addison! She was super baby in the bath! Addison is getting more mature by the day. She has begun putting her baby in the stroller and trying to strap it in... like all good mama's do. I showed her how to rock her baby, and she does, right after she picks it up by its hair. Eh she's almost got it. :) Brian's truck broke down yesterday so I had to go up to Nevada to get him (about a hr one way). He dropped me off and went back, plus stayed late to make up the hours, so he didn't get home til 4am. He's a trooper though cause he got out of bed for our appointment this morning and then left to do it all again. I'm not sure what we're going to do about the truck or how expensive it would be to fix it. Brian's only got 4 more weeks of school left and then we'd have to get rid of it anyway, so we'll see. So for now I'm stuck carless... again. Ever since I can remember, anytime there was ever a burn my mother always put toothpaste on it.... Now I know what you're thinking "How can that possible help" and the answer is I don't know but it works! I'm talking about the plain old Regular Paste, not those new fangled ones with the whitening or breath fresheners. I like Crest Tarter like in the pic. For instance... Yesterday after straightening my hair I put my straightener back in the drawer like I always do. But I was in a hurry and a little bit later was looking for a cotton ball. I stuck my hand in the drawer and the skin on my knuckle instantly blistered up upon touching the 400 degree surface. Without hesitation, I reached in my medicine cabinet and grabbed the toothpaste. I have a tube set aside just specifically for this. :) I put it on the blister, it stung a bit, and put a band-aid on it. I don't recommend a band aid it you can help it because it seems like it feels the best once the toothpaste has dried. By the time we drove into town I had forgotten about it and bent my knuckle which made it hurt again. So I took the band aid off to let it dry. And by last night I could bend my finger... until I ripped open the blister changing Addison's sheets. :( Being very pale skinned, I used to get burned really bad in the summer. Once I fell asleep on a black inner-tube and what the most burnt I had ever been. My mom mixed the toothpaste with water and put it all over my body with a toothpick. I couldn't stand for her to dab it or smear it with her finger so this way worked great. I just laid there on trash bags watching tv as it dried but I was just fine the next day. I've done this later and life and you could smack my burn the next day and I was just fine. My sister worked at KFC in high school and got a grease burn on her arm... toothpaste applied.... later it still had a blister but wasn't sore! I'm telling you this is amazing stuff! I just had the biggest "OMG I can't believe this is happening" moment in my life... so far! lol My 10 month old daughter likes to get into the cabinets. Normally its either the tupperware or pots/pans, and under the sink is locked. I just got off the phone and hear a slip and a woosh! When I turn around I find Addison sitting on the kitchen floor in a pint of undiluted black fabric dye. I go into super mom panic mode... I freaked out a bit trying to assess what to do first then jump into action. First, scooped Addison up and put her in the tub to rise her hands and feet so she doesn't eat the dye. She didn't like the cold water and apparently I had to pee cause I couldn't dry my hands and get my pants off fast enough for me not to wet my pants a little.... yes, at this point I said it again. "this cannot be happening!" Second, leave Addison in the tub (empty BTW, I'm not stupid) and grabbed a black hand towel to mop up the kitchen. It actually cleaned better than I thought it might. Then I sprayed cleaner on the semi black moped floor. Third, rushed back to Addison and ran some warm bath water while taking of her clothes and cloth diaper. I then realized that I couldn't wash her in a big tub of black dye (yes I had to stop and take a pic amongst the chaos). So I wrapped her in a black bath towel and headed for my bathroom, then left her on the bathroom floor to wipe up the now purple suds on the kitchen floor. Came back to the bathroom to find a naked screaming baby escaping. Grabbed her and we both jumped in the shower... might I just add that taking a shower with a nursing baby is like teasing a lion with a steak and realizing there is no cage to separate you. Also I was doing laundry so we ran out of hot water half way through. Apparently dye likes to soap into toe/finger nails and dry skin patches, so Addison now looks like she has leprosy or something. After we both got dressed I had to go spray and rinse my black tub in the other bathroom. Whew! Silver linings: Addison was wearing black pants and an already stained top. I needed a shower anyway. The dye barely touched the carpet next to the kitchen. I watched a documentary today called "Happy" and found it very interesting. Here are a few bullet points I took from the movie:
10% Situational 40% Intentional Activities
So in conclusion, we should intentionally focus on personal growth, while building relationships with friends and family, and cooperate in our co-housing community so we don't get Parkinson's, and move to Denmark... ok well maybe not that last one lol Cute Pic of the Day!
Downtown Joplin It hit me today that my heart has been unfulfilled. Its funny how we get that way when we resist what God's plan is for us. We have felt for a long time that we need to get back to the basics of family and a community. God has even put several friends in our lives with the same mission who are at the same stage in life as us. Our vision is to do community living... now at first you probably think of a commune and get bad visions of religious cults or hippies. I picture all of our friends living on a big plot of land and everyone doing their part: raising gardens, chickens, goats, ect... Several of us want to home school so that would be an added bonus of us all being together. It takes a village right?! We want solar fencing, and an energy efficient house. Not because we want to save the planet but because we want to be as self sufficient as possible. Brian wants to be "off the grid" but its mainly about living cheaply so he can come home from work eventually. This sounds great but there's only one problem.... it take courage to start. We've talked about it consistently for a couple years now but its always been "yeah lets do it" and then nothing happens. One problem was location. No one has one. lol Brain has 10 acres just waiting for him on his parents land but the big problem there is its about 30min away from where I want to be. I like city life... now I know Joplin, population 50k, isn't a city compared to Dallas or Chicago but it is to me, and I like it. I don't want to have to drive 30min just to go to the store. I currently drive 15-20 min but I at least have a Dollar General and grocerie store right down the road. I know what you're thinking, "I can't have my cake and eat it too" I've always said there is no way I'm moving out to Seneca... NO way on God's green earth am I going!! That is until God changes my heart... which he slowly has been. We have this great idea, this great community of friends, so what are we waiting for? Then I realized today that God never means anything for evil. God wants me to be happy and would not lead us in this direction just to see me sit by myself, in the middle of no where, and be angry and depressed. It comes down to a lack of faith on my part. I've just been so scared to go backwards.We've had some hard years in the past and my heart drops to think of going back there. We are very comfortable right now but I know that no one ever got anywhere by being comfortable. So I've decided to jump in! And no matter what happens it can always be changed. Brian and his dad are meeting with a logger next week to discuss clearing some trees. We've already got some rabbits (that God had someone bless us with for free) to start breeding to sell/eat... and the fertilizer is great! One set of our friends is on board to do this with us. He also has lots of connections to get free chickens, and help to build houses (he has a construction background). It seems that God had set this ball rolling even before I had fully made a commitment... it's like he knew I would or something lol. Genesis 50:20
20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope. Yes, I know what you're thinking "Addison is 7 months and you're just now writing this" but hey, better late than never, right? This is probably more for me anyway. :) Lets do a quick recap of pregnancy before we get into the crazy day that Addison came. In 2010 I had told Brian (my hubby of 4 yrs at the time) "Just as a heads up I think I may want to have kids in a couple years." Well he took this as a binding contract because when I mentioned that I wanted a baby a year later, he looked at me with wide eyes and firmly told me "you gave me 2 yrs!" lol Ok well I waited another six months, and by this time it seemed like everyone on facebook was pregnant except me. So after talking about it for a few days, and an emotional break down on my part, Brian finally gave in. So after my pills ended in August 2012 we were officially going to start trying... by the end of August we were pregnant... apparently one time is all it takes! Later we found out several of our close friends (6 couples) and both Brian and my sister were pregnant as well. Guess 2012 was the year of making babies in Joplin, MO! Now when you're pregnant there are lot of decisions to start making. Like where to have the baby, what doctor, ect... I had watched a documentary called "The Business of Being Born" and decided that I wanted to do a water birth. I called around and some of the hospitals would let you labor in water but none would let you deliver in a pool, so I turned to a home birth. I went online and found Judith Schmidt's Website contacted her for a free consultation. As soon as I met her I fell in love with her gentle spirit and knew this was the person I wanted to help me bring my bundle of joy into the world. I later found out a few people I know had used her before and since then I've had a few friends use her too. I got a lot of criticism and weird looks when I told people I was doing a home birth but I felt like this was the right decision for us. Judith was great and I met with her in my home every 3 weeks. Her daughter was apprenticing her so I always felt like I got two for the price of one. I would pay her a little each time she came so that by the time Addison got here she would be paid off. 16 Weeks Every time I saw Judith I got to hear the heart beat which was so special. She spent so much time answering all my questions and even questions I didn't even know I had. She kept me on a strict diet (partly because I asked her to) and I only gained 25lbs the entire pregnancy. She also had a deal worked out with the 3D4D Imaging Center that gave us a discount for being one of Judith's clients. I loved my pregnancy and didn't have any complications. I would go work out with my other pregnant friends and had a whole community of other first time moms where we could share all the crazy things that were happening to our bodies. I left work 4 weeks before my due date. They were all very sweet and I left with mixed emotions. Sad because I would miss the people I had worked with for the past 5 years but also excited to start this new journey. Even though I had a great pregnancy, I was still very ready to get this over with once my due date came and went..... Why we ended up in the hospital... Its Thursday, May 24th 2012. By this time I had been meeting with Judith every week, and since I was past due, she used some evening primrose oil (EPO) and stretched/messaged my cervix to see if that wouldn't get things moving. I grew to hate EPO because I had to take it every morning and night by mouth and internally at night... not fun let me tell you! But its used to soften your cervix. Also I had been taking Gentle Birth. Its was like an all natural Pitocin. Well it did the trick. I woke up that night at midnight with contractions 4-5 min apart. I called Judith and she had me take some calcium, which would stop labor if it was a false alarm, and told me to try to get some sleep. It didn't work so I called a hour later, as directed, and she said she would be on her way. I also called my mom, who wanted to be there, so she could come up as well. I told Brian what was going on and he go up when everyone started arriving. When everyone arrived, we all just sat in the living room and watched the contractions come and go... it was very anticlimactic. Soon Judith went to the nursery (which was still a disaster since my "nesting" never kicked in) to pray and get some sleep while waiting on my body to do its thing. Shay (her daughter) stayed up with me and read a book. I should probably mention one very key part of this birth. Addison was head down but she was posterior, which means she was looking at my pelvic bone rather than looking toward my back. This isn't impossible to do but it does make it a little harder. Plus, her chin was up and she would have to tuck her head down in order for her to come out. The contractions gradually (and I mean as slow as molasses in January) got stronger. I had "back labor" which meant that all the pain was in my lower back and not my stomach. I don't remember my stomach ever hurting. Brian would push as hard as he could on my lower back which made the pain bearable. He did this with EVERY contraction. He was amazing through this whole process. I really couldn't have done it without him. By then end of it, I think he was just as tired as I was. I would sit on the potty, which made the contractions come even more. I liked to walk back and forth or sit in the warm pool we put up in the living room. The contractions made me want to arch my back but I fought it with all my strength since Judith said it wasn't good to do. She also had me "tone" which is a very low sound in the back of your throat. If you get high pitched, you apparently tense up down there and you want it to be as relaxed as possible. Brian would tone with me because sometimes I would get high pitched with out me knowing it. I would zone in, and it was just me and him in the room and I could get through one more.... always just getting through one more contraction. If I started getting whinny, Judith would tell me to give thanks to God because with pain that meant we were progressing. I would say out loud "Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord" In my head there was a lot more to that prayer but that's all that would come out. We tried to get some sleep but that just wasn't happening. Every time I would start to drift off, here came another contraction. I had no concept of time. 5 min could feel like 5 hrs, and 5 hrs could feel like 5 min.I wasn't progressing very much if any, and had been about 13hrs, when Judith asked us to pray about breaking my water. She told us the pros and cons and left us alone. When she came back we had her do it and I though 'ok now we can get this show on the road' but I think God had different plans. After an hour, Judith checked me and I had maybe gone another half a centimeter. At this point I asked what the options were. She explained that she could take me to the hospital and they would either give me Pitocin or would most likely take me for a c-section since I had been in labor so long. That was the whole reason why I wanted a home birth in the first place. The US average is up to 36% of births are a c-section. I was NOT going to be pushed into one just because a doctor didn't want me to waist his time! This gave me the strength to stay home. They had me drink some Vitamin Water and I ate some honey on saltine crackers to try to get some more energy. I lay on the bed trying to just put my mind in a different place. I wanted this to be over. Judith kept giving me some homeopathic stuff to put under my tongue to help my body along, but they were sweet and I finally just couldn't do it any more. The taste just made me want to throw up. She checked me again and I was at a 9. I still didn't have that erg to push but I was going to try anyway. I think this was partly because of how she was positioned. Judith tried to get her to turn around or to tuck her head but she just wouldn't do it.... I think she got the stubborn gene from both of us. I also had a lip on my cervix that Judith had to hold down with every contraction. I could reach in and feel her head but I was touching her soft spot and not the crown of her head. We tried every which way to get that baby out. Judith had me try one last way, but when I moved, Addison slipped all the way back up inside. We were starting at ground zero again. Judith looked at me very sweetly and told me she thinks we should go to the hospital. I was exhausted. She listened to Addison's heart and everything was fine. Neither one of us were in any danger but that baby just wasn't cooperating. We loaded up into her van. I'm on all fours in the back with Brian and my mom is driving behind us. The 20 min drive wasn't that bad. The movement kept me slightly distracted. Judith called ahead to explain everything and that we are coming in due to non progression. They said they would be ready for me when we got there. They lied. When Brian came in to the OR When we arrived at the hospital, the they put me in a wheel chair and we sit for another 20 to get checked in. Brian is livid and my normally cool collected husband isn't keeping is temper completely in check when they try to have us sign some paper work. People are staring. I am in a black tee shirt that goes to my knees that is still slightly damp from the pool, very very pregnant, in a wheel chair, and having contractions every couple mins. I would have stared too. They finally take me up to the birthing center and put me on my back to check me.... the most horrible and painful position EVER! I'm a 9 1/2. Still no erg to push. Judith explains everything again but the nurses are ignoring her and asking me the questions that Judith just answered. I would let someone have it if I had the strength. The nurse comes in to tell me that I can push if I want but that the doctor (who hasn't even seen me yet) is recommending a c-section. My heart drops. I look at Brian with what I imagine as a big question mark on my face. I don't want him to be disappointed in me. The nurses leave so we can talk. Judith asks my mother to leave since this is a question for Brian and me. It didn't make my mother very happy but I was grateful. Judith recommends a c-section too since I am so exhausted. I look at the clock. Its almost 10:15pm. I agree and the doctor comes in and introduces himself. Dr. Lacey is a very charismatic man and sets me at ease instantly. They wheel me off to the OR and I leave every one behind. Dr. Lacey asks me how long we've been married. I say 5 years. "To the same man???" I laugh. He then makes a joke about being married 4 or 5 times that I later found out was true :( He had me arch my back 'like a mad cat' and then the lay me on my back very quickly. All of a sudden, I get very calm. There's no pain. For the first time in almost 24 hrs, there's no pain! I tell the nurses they don't know how good that feels and they all just smile. For the first time I'm scared. I'm trembling a little and I feel this heavy pressure on my chest and shoulders. They don't tell me this is normal so I just freak out a little in my mind. The blue sheet is up and I can't see anything. They let Brian in and I tell him I'm scared. He says everything will be fine. "No I'm scared for when they cut me" Then a nurse leans over the curtain and says "Oh honey, they've already done that"... Whew.... I feel tugging and a pain along my right rib cage. "Did they cut me high" The nurse assures me its very low and I can even wear a bikini again. They later explain that pain was were the spinal tap ended and I could feel when the were tugging me. Neat fact: They take your uterus out, sew it up, stick it back in, and then sew up your belly... makes more sense than trying to do it on the inside! Perfect baby girl! 7lbs 10oz. 21in long! They show me Addison, then whisk her away to get cleaned up. Brian goes with her to make sure everything goes alright while I get sewn up and then head to recovery. I think a lot of people just skim over the fact that a c-section is major surgery. I don't think I really even comprehended it until I was recovering. We got the vitamin K shot but not the Hep C.... I mean for real, I don't have Hep C, Brian doesn't have it, and I'm pretty sure she won't be sexually active for a good long while. Why would you give that to a brand new perfect little baby! They bring her to me in recovery and she is screaming. Apparently she was very hungry. Brian said she was calm through all the stuff they did but when they put their finger in her mouth to see if she was hungry, she let them know! So the lady is telling me how to do it and Addison all of a sudden latches on... my graugy eyes get very big and every one laughs... not exactly what I expected. At least she's a good eater! I wasn't too happy with the service at the hospital. No one really explained anything and there were a couple times I had to remind the nurses that I had already called for meds. I don't know if it was because I was "self pay" or what? The night nurse tech was my favorite. I think she was in the grade below me in high school. And the last night we had a nurse that really explained things like why my shoulders and chest still hurt like my muscles were tensing up. (During surgery you get air in there and you have to pass the gas to get that feeling to go away). There was never a time I felt like I couldn't do it Baby blues or Postpartum depression? When we got home, I was in this cloud of being so incredibly happy in the day and so unbearably sad in the evenings and night time. I was broken. My body didn't do what it was designed to do. Plus, I would have plenty of milk in the mornings but she would get so hungry at night I wouldn't have any left. (stress/worrying will keep your milk from coming out, which adds more stress/worrying) I would have to pump in the mornings and give it to her in a bottle at night. Now, that doesn't seem like such a big deal but in the moment it made me feel like I wasn't a good mom because my body wasn't working... AGAIN! Then I battled being sore and not wanting to feed her and feeling like a horrible mother for feeling that way. This went on for a while and I started looking up what the "baby blues" were. It said that its common and will last about 2 weeks. I was rounding out week 3 and knew something wasn't right. I finally asked Judith about it, which I should have sooner but I thought I was just being silly. She told me to use a pump of progesterone cream once a day and some EPO (yay its back again! AHHH) This worked. I felt normal and wouldn't cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I would forget and have a mini melt down and Brian would gently ask if I had used the cream that day, then I would run to the bath room and put some on. I finally weened myself off the EPO and continued with the cream and eventually weened myself off that too. It took about 4 months. I had done a little research on Postpartum and usually doctors prescribe an antidepressant. Some women are on them for years. I'm so glad I turned to Judith. She also had me pray about what the real issue was deep down. I realized I resented my precious little baby... now if that doesn't make you feel like a horrible mom I don't know what does.... I would get stuck in the "if onlys" and the "what ifs". If only Addison had tucked her head. If only she wasn't sunny side up. What if I had been at the hospital the whole time. What if I hadn't had Judith message my cervix, ect.... I've come to find that every time I've said I'm not going to do something, God has different plans. I think that if I wouldn't have had a c-section that I would have continued to feel sorry for those women who had to have one. I might have even boasted myself up and said well I did it all and with out drugs. I do think that the way it turned out gives God more glory and changed my own heart. So Lord.... I learned my lesson... can my next one please be a VBAC?? (Vaginal Birth After Cesarian) Thanks for reading! If there are any questions I can answer, please feel free to ask. I'm not shy and can maybe send you in the right direction to find an answer. I f you click on Judith's name above it will take you to her website. She is amazing and I highly recommend her!! |
AuthorI'm a stay at home mommy of a beautiful little girl and a rambunctious baby boy. Although I stay at home, my home doesn't stay put lol. We travel for my husband's work and live in a 5th wheel camper full time. We also have a mini schnauzer, who is a crotchety old man. :) I love crafting, cooking, and taking pics. But most of all I love me some Jesus! Archives
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